I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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