thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
