And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
