nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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