I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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