So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize