Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
