idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
