Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize