No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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