He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
