so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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