No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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