Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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