5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
