omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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