his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize
