im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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