Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
