Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You are the jesus of drinking
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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