It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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