The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
