Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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