I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
