So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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