So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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