I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
