hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
