Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Are my feet made of real feet?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
