Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
This is my gift to your gina
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize