Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Randomize
