hotel room ftw
I heard we made out
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
