Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
