sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
whose parrot is this?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
We are all done wearing pants today
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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