just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
