Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
