I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
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