I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
