This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
