told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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