She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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