I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
