Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
