its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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