i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
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