I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm always down for nudity.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
