I got chris browned last night
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
