You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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