She went from zero to smokin in five shots
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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