You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
