he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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