I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
