wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I look better un-naked...
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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