i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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