Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Don't make out with my wife yet
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
