The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
