So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
