I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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