I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
