I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
