she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
