don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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