i barfeds in our rink
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
do herpes really smell.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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