we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
we're making bets on your personal life
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
